Punisher

First off I'll just start off bye saying that picture is me and my resize makes the blinds look like shit, thus making the whole picture shitty. Click on it for full affect. It is an old piece of artwork I put together nearly a year ago. I still like its look over the time and it is unaltered. I saw it before I started this post and figured it should have one more shot into glory before it hits my archives forever.

I usually think of a lot of things during my free-time, especially on my walks to and from class, little 10 minute periods where my brain is allowed to wander and think anything. I suppose wander is a vast understatement, while I over-analyze myself and my actions, I often get the feeling I am the only one that does these things. While thinking I usually get the need to vent, and then I say to myself how it would be great to get back to my room and write a post on here about it. Which usually doesn't happen as you may have noticed. This blog is often a ghost. I am sorry, my lack of motivation is at the level where it almost scares me. And it isn't like its one of those things where "knowing is half the battle", because I know I am incredible lazy and it is nearly always my downfall. I went through yesterday in full procrastination mode. I had thoughts of grandeur and organized plans in which I would balance my free-time with a decent quantity of studying and homework. These thoughts are not new to me. Every day I make a list of things to do, and leisure activities I wish to partake in. Well, lets just say I usually lose myself in the leisure activities, and the only way I ever touch the books is if it is due the next day, or I have a test the next day. Even the "test the next day" force has been failing me. Perhaps it's do to my impressive start this semester. From my shitty last semester, I started this one out with the flare and wit I once possessed as a child, I thought of myself as ahead of the game again, as I was once before. This was a big mistake, because now I merely shrug my shoulders going into a test, and leave with a slap in the face. How many slaps does it take to realize my first few tests were a fluke and that I still need to get my ass in gear? According to me, it's apparently a lot. I need to pull through though, I always have, Shape up or Ship out, that's a motto that comes to mind. Just like I have been taught by my family, when the going gets tough you cowboy-the-fuck-up and do what needs to get done. Well, that may not be exactly what my family says.

I do however, have a story that could not escape the webpage. I apologize that threw my blabbering I probably lost half the readers.This story took place aproximately 2 weeks ago. Lets say a Monday, for story sake. It is monday night. And if I remember correctly, I am in my room, in a chair, a friend is on the couch to my left, playing halo, my roomate walked out of the room shortly, and I am preparing for a card game or something like that. The phone rings and I pick it up.

"Hello this is, (insert some useless name), and I am a pre-med Biology major at the University of Eau Claire(or something to that affect). We are doing a survey and I was wondering if you would be interested in taking part in it".

Usually I think of witty things to say to this type of spam phonecall afterwards, and then look back and wish I'd thought of it earlier, but this call in particular was unique because students from UWEC usually don't call. So I figure, I got nothing to do at the moment, if this gets boring I can just hang up, and I could quiet possibly think of one of those witty sayings and make this a GREAT story, I don't want to over-inflate though, so I'll tell you now I did not think of anything witty..

"Yeah, sure"

"Ok cool. Just a few questions. First, Do you get constipated, and if so, how often" *straight faced, err, voiced*

*thinking to self* "Is this a prank call?" I should mention I was slightly caught off guard, but I didn't pause in my response*"Ummm, not really at all."

"Not at all?"

*straight-voiced right back at him* "Well, I suppose I do every now and then, I'd say once a month, or every couple months, I might get cramps and/or constipation"

My friend over hears some of this and says something or perhaps chuckled, nothing too out of the normal. So at most, there is a slight conversation in the background.

"Maybe this isn't the time for this, I can c....*inaudible mumbles*" *He certainly didn't speak clear enough to be doing phone surveys.*

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

*voice of uncertainty, like he was wasting his time with me* "I should just call you back, this doesn't seem like the time."

"No, I really didn't hear you. What did you say?"

"I just said I can call back if this is not a good time for you."

Maybe you dont realize how stupid this seems to me right now, I may have not been able to convey the true feeling of this interaction, but this is a complete lack-of-commitment on his part. Basically, there has not even been a minute of conversation. He is asking me "abnormal personal questions" and I am answering quite truthfully, and not joking around as I can imagine others would. Granted he apparently knows I have a guest, so possible he thought my answers would be flawed, when infact, they were not. Also, if he was looking for a applicant to question that was alone, he should not be calling the dorm rooms. Rarely is a dorm room only holding one person, let alone two. So I see it as me being a nice find for his "survey" by how I have no problem talking of such things in front of friends. But with all my complying with him no questions asked, he keeps trying to drop the convo. Nothing so far has suggested either of us is uncomfortable. Shortly after the call I assume this to mean I "cracked" his prank phone call.

"No, actually I'm not doing anything right now, continue."

"what?"

"I just said keep going"

"Well, do you use profalactics/antacids?(Something like that. It was awhile ago)"

"Umm, No, I have some Tums but I hardly use them"

*Next he has a stern tone and again offers that we continue the conversation later. It was in the form of a question, but the way it was said, there was no options for me. I agreed and hung up. Me and whoever I saw for the next 5 minutes had a good laugh about this guy. My friend next to me agreed that I had been answering each question and there really was no reason to arrange a new call. We agree it must have been a prank call and that I was not a fun victim.*

I had a feeling he was the real deal though, whatever that means. I knew, however, that I am really not around the dorm much, and that he would probably hit an empty room a couple times if he did call back, which I was about 50% on believing would happen. At most I figured there would be some stupid voice message on our machine. But, low and behold, two to three days later me and the same guy are sitting on my couch, starting up a halo game. The phone rings, I go over and pick it up.

"Hello?"

*with a hint of distaste* "Is this the guy from the survey"

*I add a bit of shortness to my reply to counter-act his tone* "Yes."

"Well, now do you have time?"

*THE NERVE!* *very short with him* "No, I did before, now I am playing a video game."

"Fine.Click."

*If he had any of my respect before that last action, it was certainly gone. Yes, the room entitled "respect for bio-med phone survey guy" is a barren and desolate place.*

I know that was probably a long read and I apologize. The amount of funney in a joke should always be in a 1:1 ratio with amount of time spent telling it. And in real life this is a short tell. But on here it seems to take a lot more space. I hope you found it amusing.